Monday, February 1, 2010
Happy Prince
Happy Prince lives in the palace and never leave it. People in the city like him because of he is always happy. However, happy prince never know his people in the city are suffering. When Happy Prince dies, people make a statue of him, a statue with ruby, sapphires and gold skin. The statue was placed in the center square of the city and Happy Prince start seeing the ugly side of the city. Happy Prince ask a little bird,a swallow, to pull the ruby, sapphires, and gold on his skin and then give it to the poor people who need help. Finally Happy Prince has no more valuable stuff to give and he is gray now. His friend swallow cried about that and doesn't want to leave him and died of cold. Happy Price's lead heart breaks in two. The Mayor and the Town Councillors think the statue is ugly and useless. They melt it in a big furnace. But the heart of Happy Prince doesn't melt and they throw it on rubbish heap. An angel is send from the god to picked two of the most important things from the city, and the angel finds the broken heart and body of the swallow.
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don't really understand the morale behind the story. but your grammar sucks!! oh no... keep your tenses right! is it in present tense? or past tense? is it happening right now or happened in the past? too inconsistent.. very hard to follow..! i seriously don't know to edit it.. but i would assume its in the past tense.. and all the following corrections are in past tense.
ReplyDelete*lived in
*never left
*liked.. because he (no "of" after the because.. i explained this is one of the past entries.. please learn!) ... was always
*built a statue..
*started seeing
*asked.... and give it (omit "then")
*needed help
*had no more... was
*didn't want to.... died from the cold
*broke into..
*thought that
*melted it..
*didn't melt
*threw it
*was sent... to pick [when you use "to", how can the next word be past tense?]
*found
oh no.. disaster. you have to fix your grammar problems.. there are too many problems with it! please go back and check the grammar rules because u keep making the same mistakes over and over again! i beg you, please! or else i'm correcting the same things over and over again!
I thought I was talking in present tense like I am telling a story. The book also talk in present tense.
ReplyDelete